I have an announcement to make... *drumroll pls*... I have quit my job of 5 years to be a stay-home-mum!!
It was an extremely tough decision to make, but after weighing both the pros and cons (for me and my child), I came to this decision.. with the support from some... but also with the objections from some.
To cut a long story short..
A few weeks before I was due to return to work, I met this girl in the nursing room at Isetan Scott while feeding Lucas.. learned that she is a stay-home-mum in our conversation... At that point in time, I recalled thinking to myself that she seems too modern and educated to choose to stay at home. Anyway, the whole idea of stay-home-mum sounded strange to me as all of my married friends with kids are working. My plan was for me to return to work after my maternity leave has ended and letting my mum (with maid) to babysit Lucas on weekdays.
But as the day for me to return to work approaches, I started to have mixed feelings. Depressed that I won't be able to have much time with Lucas on weekdays.. he will probably be sleeping by the time I reached my mum's place after work. As our work place is far from our home, we couldn't afford to bring him home with us as this would mean even longer traveling time for the 3 of us everyday. I know I will miss him terribly. I know for the sake of money, I will be missing out on his many 'first times'.. first word, first step etc...
Then the whole idea of stay-home-mum came to me again.. will this work for us? I remembered confiding in my mum on my wish of quitting my job to care for Lucas myself. I was toying with this idea, but who knows my mum actually supported me on this. I think that she feels the toll of the night feedings and misses the freedom to go jalan jalan whenever she wants. With her support, I spoke to my boss on my situation and also discuss with Melvin to get his support... With me quitting my job, this would mean the whole family financial burden will be on him. I guessed I freaked him out totally.. entirely.
Anyway.. one thing leads to another, and here I am.. slowly settling into the new arrangement. It wasn't an easy decision to make and believe me, I thought and re-think about the sacrifices that I have to make by giving up my job. No more shopping... ok, maybe less shopping.. starting from scratch yet again when I'm ready to back to work.. giving up the position that I have worked very hard to achieve from the last 5 years.. all for the precious first few years with my boy.
Things are looking better this week as Melvin is also gradually coming to terms with this arrangement. I have to admit that it must have been hard on him as I dropped the bomb without much warning... We brought Lucas for his second jab yesterday and his pediatrician encourages mums to care for their children themselves... he listed several benefits such as emotional closeness between mum and child, educating the child on values and languages in his precious first few years... he praised me on my decision - quoting him "Stay-home-mum is a 24/7 job with no bonus, no off days and no MC."... Noble or what!
This mini episode feels almost surreal to me.. seems like it has been planned out for me.. waiting just for me to find the courage to take the first step. Dear God, whatever plans you have for me.. I pray for you to continue shining down on us every single day.
P.S. Sorry that I didn't manage to "cut the long story short" as I want to.. :-)
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